Talk vs Quiet
A self reflective list.
- •Sitting w my close friend K today and we were talking about blind spots so she points one out for me.Funny thing is, I knew in my heart of hearts that this is something I've needed to work on.
- •Thankfully she delivers the critism with love(which is one reason why I love her as a friend) and tells me that her husband is the same way which made me laugh bc sometimes I feel like I'm the only one with these kinds of issues loll.
- •The blind spot is that I can't let things be. I have to explain myself or try to understand the other person thru talking it out. Have to. And it can easily push people away and I wind up more hurt than necessary. Not to mention it's not an ideal way to treat someone when what they need in order to process things is quiet or space.
- •It happens most when I'm fighting or when I'm feeling particularly insecure. I have to explain myself so they know. Or I have to talk it out so that we can be ok. And neither of those options are right for everyone in that very moment.
- •It doesn't make either of us bad people. No one is exactly the same. But it isn't exactly loving or ideal when the other person needs quiet and I'm not honoring that and instead I'm afraid they are judging the situation without hearing me out or planning to bail.That's something I need to let go of for sure. It's an old thought process that doesn't even serve a purpose anymore.
- •She said that if you're dealing with someone who loves you, ten times out of ten you do work it out. Try not to personalize, give space and time and accept that it's going to be ok even if I never hear why(and quit trying to guess).
- •Sure it doesn't 'feel good' to be quiet or maybe feel rejected when you just want to work it out. But, I get it that it's not always about me. If I just let it be, I'm being respectful and honoring their needs and that's honestly the only kind of person I really want to be.xo
- •She said that when her husband tries to talk and she just needs space she slowly says shhhhhhh and just asks for time. I imagined this and we laughed.😂☺️