THINGS ABOUT MY GRANDMOTHER

If only she knew how many stereotypical rapper characteristics that she possesses.
  1. As long as I've been alive, this is the toilet paper at my grandmother's apartment.
  2. She LOVES gold statues, especially of herself.
  3. She does NOT like the rain.
  4. She has forever and exclusively driven white Cadillacs with the family's crest on it.
    A crest she made herself in the 70's.
  5. The morning of my sister's graduation, she woke up at 4:30 in the morning to put her face on.
    I know because I was sleeping in the hotel room with her.
  6. She thinks modesty is for ugly people.
  7. She turned 90 in November and has never been more fab.