A MALE STRIPPER DANCED UP ON ME ON NATIONAL TELEVISION AND ALL I GOT WAS A PIECE OF PIZZA

For @element75 and everyone else who apparently still has cable that has asked me about this
  1. About 6 months ago a friend of mine asked if I wanted to be in a sketch for the Late Late Show with James Corden
    A friend of hers worked there and said we'd be getting a free pizza. I was practically unemployed so obviously I agreed
  2. It was for their "mystery pizza box" sketch
    James Corden delivers your pizza and offers you a choice between what you ordered and a "mystery box".
  3. They usually don't tell the participants what's going to be in their mystery box.
    All those reactions are real!
  4. But because our "prize" was "of a sensitive nature" they told us ahead of time—
    Male strippers.
  5. Look, I was broke
    I needed the pizza
  6. Magic Mike 2 had just come out
    Better than the original tbh
  7. So I put on my least revealing outfit and prepped for the worst
  8. We got drunk on white wine and just leaned into it
  9. I'm the one with glasses in the middle, thanking god that my parents don't watch late night tv
  10. I am cursed with heterosexuality so it's not like I was disgusted by what I knew what was about to happen
  11. But male strippers dancing to a quiet techno song and breaking away their breakaway pants in your friend's apartment that doesn't have much furniture because she too is broke is very depressing to watch
  12. But we were drunk who cares!
  13. I just held my breath until it was over and they grabbed b roll of us screaming and putting money in their waistbands
    I carefully did NOT put money there, I just threw it
  14. All in all, a mostly painless 5 minutes.
    They stayed for a little afterwards and ate pizza with us.
  15. They were very nice. But their manager was with them
    And he was EXACTLY how you think he was.
  16. "Ladies, ladies, such a pleasure working with you. Here's my card—anytime you want, just give me a call on my cell and I'll get you on our VIP."
    Paging matty mcconnaughey
  17. So we took his card and immediately threw it away when they left
  18. We thought this would never air after two weeks went by and nothing
    But Thursday night APPARENTLY James Corden had some free fucking time
  19. So don't let your dreams be dreams because if I can do this on tv you can definitely finish that novel you've been working on