BARS THAT HAVE SUCKED LIFE OUT OF ME

A little at a time
  1. Bar Lubitsch
    "Can I freshen your drink, girl?" "Do I know you, girl?" "Girl, your eyes are just so extra."
  2. Mothers
    "So....settle this for me. Forrest Gump: great movie, or greatest movie?"
  3. The Parlor
    Thirty plaid button downs and no clear path to a bathroom
  4. Harvard & Stone
    John Mayer lookalike on country western night, burlesque dancers other nights. But I keep coming back because it's a five minute walk home
  5. Tonga Hut
    Would you like a cup of liquor with a side of grilled pork?
  6. Bonus: The Hangge Uppe
    Welcome to Chicago, where even nice Midwestern boys will make out with you in the bar line so you can win your drunk bet