WHAT I THOUGHT MY TEEN YEARS WOULD BE LIKE

Now in my early twenties, I feel I can look back objectively
  1. I would get to say 'whatever' and 'totally' and 'shut up' all the time
    Accurate, still do
  2. I'd "sneak out" of my house a lot to "party"
    Everyone talked about the concept but I never saw it expanded beyond theory
  3. This dress would figure heavily
  4. I would walk down a staircase to a breathy pop ballad at some point
    Totally sincere here, where else was I supposed to wear the above
  5. In short, the video for 1979 by smashing pumpkins
    Honestly more offensive than when I went to billy corgan's tea house in a Chicago suburb and instead of a full size sandwich was served the equivalent of Melba toast with terrible cashew cheese
  6. 🆗