BODYPUMP: THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE BETWEEN BEING FIT & DYING MID SQUAT
Fitness is cool! It means I can eat more & look ripped as hell. Except for the fact you actually have to get up and move and exert effort...
- •Warm Up:This song has a sick beat, I'd never listen to it on my own but it is PUMPING ME UP! Let's do this BodyPump, I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS!
- •Squats:Ok hips/knees/ass/legs/brain it's only 5 minutes and 30 seconds, we can DO THIS. They're fucking squats, Nina.... Holy SHIT they're not JUST squats ok. You want me to squat DEEPER? And you want me to hold at the bottom???? My quads are burning. Jesus TAKE THE BAR!!! Oh, good a rest. Was that a rest? It was 10 seconds! 24 singles until the end? The end of... Me? Oh god. Thank god that's over. My heart is beating out of my chest. Am I dying?
- •ChestWill I ever be able to do the weight my trainer is doing? Is he a magical unicorn human? My fucking shoulders would fall off. It's nice to just lay on this bench... I could get used to this... Oh shit I missed the first set! Oh. There's the burn I've come to love. What if I become super ripped like the bodybuilding women? Oh my GOD my chest is on FIRE. am I going to be crushed by this bar? Oh... It's over?! Ok. That was almost... Relaxing
- •BackAlright, load this mother up. This fuckin track is my JAM! Clean & press for the rest of my liiiife!!!! Oh my god, I may have gotten too eager. Holy shit my shoulder blades. My hammies! One more dead lift and My arms are going to detach from this bod. How does this damn instructor make it look so easy???? How!? Oh god, power presses? Push presses? I'd like to press myself back into my bed! As motivating as this instructor is, do I have one more set in me?! Oh thanks god. It's DONE.
- •Biceps/tricepsI've literally been dreading this. This is my worst nightmare. My wee biceps aren't ready for the onslaught. Oh god we're already doing midway pulses? I can feel the fire. Satan is in my muscles! Oh my god, oh my god I'm going to puke. This is hideous. TRICEP PUSH-UPS ARE THE WORST MAKE IT END!
- •LungesOh fab, it's sweet nothing. The WORST FUCKING TRACK. wait more squats in the beginning???? You're fucking oh my lord my hips are already burning. Ok, kicking a leg back. Let's rock this shit Nina. Oh my god my knee. Oh my leg. Wow I never knew my butt could burn this badly. My poor glutes. BOTTOM HALF PULSES? You're DUMB AS HELL ok. 8 down. 24 more to go. Bless, a squat break... Never thought I'd say that. Alright. Leg two. Fuck fuck fuck. This is pain. Think of da booty. FINALLY DONE.
- •Abs/Cool Down aka me just laying on the floor pretending to crunch and stretch 😎