Things I've Said Semi-recently That Have Offended People

My bad, guys!
  1. "Do you have a learning disability?"
    The conversation was about standardized testing and I had a lot of relevant follow ups and tips about securing extra time. But everyone jumped down my throat before they had the chance to hear them!
  2. "What goes through your head in the morning that makes you put that on?"
    It was jewelry like in the attached photo and I was genuinely curious about the process.
  3. "Single people probably don't need Yelp because they don't have anyone to eat with."
    Said to three of my closest friends who happen to be single.
  4. "You look swollen."
    Sorry @lanietrafford, but I thought you had a sinus infection coming on.
  5. "Tell her not to say shit like that when she moves to New York."
    Ehh. I think I was right about this one.
  6. "Keep up!"
    Maybe not the nicest way to make sure everyone's following the conversation. Especially when directed at your mom.