1. Chris Rock: "It's all about the company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a terrible meal. A hotdog with an interesting person is a good time."
  2. John Stewart on LA or Vegas vs NYC: "In LA or Vegas everyone is tuned to the same frequency."
  3. Robin Williams: "Using the kind of the mask skills in Mrs Doubtfire it is like interior puppeteering."
  4. Mr. Carson, Butler: "We must always travel in hope."
  5. Louis C.K. via Amy Poehler: "Divorce is always good news cause no good marriage ends in divorce."
  6. President Barack Obama at the 2015 Correspondents Dinner:  “Investigative journalism; explanatory journalism; journalism that exposes corruption and injustice and gives a voice to the different, the marginalized, the voiceless—that’s power. It’s a privilege."
  7. Stanley Marcus: “The road to success is paved with mistakes well handled."
  8. Ricky Gervais as Bertram Pincus in Ghost Town: "It doesn't even have the decency to snow. Hail, is there any more stupid form of precipitation than hail?"