REASONS I HAVE DUMPED SOMEBODY

Or ended things before they became seeious
  1. Because I didn't think my mom would like him
    My mom later told me not to make life decisions based on her hypothetical approval, but I don't know, my mom is pretty cool, I don't think this is a terrible standard to have.
  2. Because he told me he was no longer attracted to me but still wanted to date (?!?!?!)
    He was genuinely shocked when I told him that this hurt my feelings and that I wanted to just be friends. (Months later he tried to claim that he was the dumper and not the dumpee, but the facts are on my side.)
  3. Because I had too much homework
    A friend in college once said that to Nolan somebody was to "breakup with someone because you had too much homework" which is embarrassingly sort of true. But I also don't think there is anything wrong with not making your dating life your top priority! Sometimes it's okay to put other things first! I don't regret it.
  4. Because I got a job in another city and was like LOL BYE
    Dating somebody only because you moved to a new city after college and had no friends and no life and were kinda bored is not a good enough reason to start a relationship.
  5. Because he never listened to the mix CD I gave him, THE WORST OFFENSE OF ALL
    A wise prophet once said, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends." And by friends I mean Tegan and Sara and by wise prophet I mean the Spice Girls.