Some 1970s Classic Porn Movies, Ranked

The other day I realized I had never shared my freakishly extensive knowledge of 1970s porn, accrued while I wrote my college thesis, with the Internet. I am correcting this now.
  1. 1.
    Devil In Miss Jones
    A porn version of No Exit and an early showcase for the limitless power of the clit. Georgina Spelvin was the unlikeliest of porn stars--homely and 37 years old in this movie--but she's sexy as fuck.
  2. 2.
    Wet Rainbow
    Totally underrated and one of the hottest classic porn films ever. Stars my two crushes, Georgina and Harry Reems, who play an artsy married couple attracted to the same curly-haired hippie artist 😍🎨
  3. 3.
    Insatiable
    Marilyn Chambers a decade after her Ivory Snow years, all grown up and the HBIC. Superhot and aggressive scene with Richard Pacheco as the gardener boy who takes her virginity on the pool table. Also a cameo by John Holmes!
  4. 4.
    The Opening of Misty Beethoven
    Not crazy about Constance Money, but I'm really into this futuristic sex utopia where airplane pilots are giving head to the stewardesses. Also Jamie Gillis is a cutie. (Dude porn stars were kind of adorable back then!)
  5. 5.
    Mona the Virgin Nymph
    Kinda basic, but giving it props for being pretty much the first "classic" porn movie of its time. (1970!) Unlike the moralistic "skin flicks" of the 60s, Mona was the first movie to celebrate, not punish, our heroine for giving blow jobs to random dudes on the street.
  6. 6.
    Resurrection of Eve
    Solid party orgy scene but a lot of racial weirds. Johnnie Keyes put up with so much shit back then!
  7. 7.
    Deep Throat
    The Linda Lovelace/Chuck Traynor tragedy really puts a damper on the whole thing, but Harry Reems is just so goofy and charming that I have to give Deep Throat a few points. Also some wry jokes never hurt anybody. And the main trick is goddamn impressive.
  8. 8.
    Behind the Green Door
    Honestly never saw the appeal of this one. A pure innocent white woman gets abducted and raped in front of a live audience by a savage black man whose entrance is punctuated by literal African drums?! Later, Johnnie Keyes described fucking Marilyn Chambers as "ten thousand Africans making up for that slavery shit." Yikes all around.
  9. 9.
    Debbie Does Dallas
    Boring as shit.