Reasons I'm eating a fish burger at 4pm even though I'm a vegetarian.

  1. I wanted something a little crunchy
  2. I'm lonely
  3. It seemed like a good source of protien
  4. I needed something warm in my mouth to make me feel alive again
  5. It paired with my 2 for 1 whiskey gingers
  6. I thought the bartender would think I was an independent woman if I ordered a fish burger and fries at 4pm
  7. I'm not independent and just am waiting for a boring guy to text me so might as well eat in the meantime
  8. I don't know what I'm doing, if I eat this I'll be more in control of my life
  9. Fuck I just realized I'll have fish breathe
  10. There goes my plan to get laid and mask my depression in sex