1. Hey, Joe American, you know what I sure hate?
  2. A system of government where people are free to choose those own leaders, instead of a wise council of elders deciding the fate of the nation for the good of its people.
  3. Cell phones and big TVs sure are neat!
  4. But you know what's even neater? Collectivist farming and rigorously enforced political reeducation.
  5. So let's be open to new ideas, particularly those coming from the Beijing central bureaucracy!
  6. That will make America great again, Mr. Trump!