Race To No Where
Everyone tired now...
- •My friend texted late last night and said she was anxious about her boys going to summer camp.
- •I thought she meant the usual stuff away from home, freak counselors, bodies of water etc.
- •She's African American and quickly corrected me. It turns out she was worried about the weeks events and generally anxious about her sweet as pie kids becoming teens and being targets generally but specifically about being black in red neck GA camp and hearing all kinds of whacked out stuff. Which I think is possible...
- •She had been fielding calls all week and from what I could decipher was worn but also worried...worried for what they may hear.
- •I couldn't tell her they wouldn't hear anything that would be a lie. My kids have heard an earful but you know they are fine. Welcome to coming of age and waking up to people with land mines for mouths. I felt sad my kids have already come home by 8 asking me why people hate Jews as the neighbor had told her daughter she hates Jews.I guess she hates her oncologist, her new sister law and us her neighbor who watched her kids endlessly while she was sick.
- •I told her something I hadn't told anyone. Half my fear of my son being away at camp was that someone would go terrorize the camp. I worry every time we/they are somewhere Jewish.I am pathetic
- •It's made me reflect why are my standards so low that I should live in so much anxiety. The black community is right it's no way to live and it's better to share your fear/outrage so we can talk each other off the horrible cliffs in our minds and try to make change and protect others from becoming victims.I haven't had answers and I don't so I have been quiet. Sometimes for me personally being quiet is me trying to be sensitive and worried I might say the wrong thing. Everyone's different but not everyone wants every white person in their face I am sure. #WhiteNoise
- •I told my friend about my fears too and also explained how realistically statistically unlikely any of this stuff was to happen to her boys or mine but it didn't mean our feelings weren't justified nor our concern for others.It's just a rings of hell thing and how close we are to the molten hell victim center.But I could assure her, her son's would go off to camp and this wouldn't be an issue. They would have fun.
- •The people who have been shot & their families they are the real victims we live with the nuclear fallout wondering and wandering in the purgatory feeling life tip towards dystopia. The dystopia which likely in this way will never touch us now blossoms and roots firmly in our minds. It's a different kind of cloud but still grey & electric...And full of aftershocks we just don't know when they will stop or come again.
- •We still need to send the kids forward into sweet child land, frolicking in lakes, riding on horses and feeling confident no jackasses sly words will keep them from enjoying life. I assured her they would be back in a week thrilled for a week away from mom and dad hanging with peers, off the grid.
- •Sometimes for mom sadly the very best you can do is pop a Xanax and shed a private tear for someone less fortunate. I wish I had better answers but for now it's all I have got.As a friend I hope to cure the symptom because that's what hurts in the moment and I sadly can't cure the disease. In that moment she needed the ache for her own kids to leave her heart. I hope I helped but I don't really know if I was just more white noise. I feel hopeless to cure the world. Don't we all feel so small?
- •Us parents we feel like we tried to set a perfect game board for you kids & sometimes it feels the whole dang board is about to be swept off the table into total chaos and all the kind words won't change it and that is a sad and hopeless feeling. Race To No Where has a whole new meaning. The whole human race seems to be headed no where good indeed.