GOSSIP GIRL MALE CHARACTERS AS RANKED BY EYEBROWS

  1. Nate Archibald
    So thick, so dark, so juicy. If those brows could talk they'd say "I'm out of your league, sweetheart." And I'd agree.
  2. Chuck Bass
    Another strong showing from the upper east side with these forehead caterpillars. The most elitist eyebrows I've ever seen, evoking a danger and mystique of much older and more worldly set of face scarves.
  3. Dan Humphrey
    While not as voluminous as his upper east side counterparts, still a not too shabby performance from Brooklyn's finest. Despite the edges often in disarray and a lack of face-framing, a quick furrow could still cause one to fall in love
  4. Rufus Humphrey
    He may be a dad, but those brows show the former rocker bad boy within. While maybe even better than those of his son, he is lower on the list because he's old and quite frankly annoys me as a second rate character.
  5. Eric Van Der Woodsen
    Oh Eric. Despite your charming countenance and often well-meaning intentions, your eyebrows are just plain wonky. Whoever is putting the pressure on you to pluck is doing those furry friends quite the injustice. Set your brows free, and perhaps it could be the key to winning back your former beau Elliot.