THINGS I'M WORRIED ABOUT 1 WEEK BEFORE MY DUE DATE

I'm 39 weeks pregnant with my first child. Let the constant worrying begin.
  1. What if kids are as awful as the parents on social media make them out to be?
    The only people who complain more than children are the parents of children.
  2. What if she turns out to be like the psycho kids on a crime procedural show?
    I should probably watch less TV.
  3. College will cost approximately $1.3 million (a semester) by the year 2033.
    We're gonna need some scholarships. She better be smart...
  4. The Internet.
    A minefield of awfulness.
  5. Will I be an awful parent if we never go to a pumpkin patch/apple orchard/strawberry field, but instead let someone else pick our fruit?
    Picking our own fruit seems like a lot of unnecessary work.
  6. What if I've ruined her forever by eating too much sugar while pregnant?
    Y'all. I've craved A LOT of sugar.