Apocalypse Chow: We Tried Televangelist Jim Bakker's 'Survival Food'

Bakker had a fall from grace in the '80s. Now he peddles survivalist food. We sampled a package that comes with 154 servings of powdered goodness. Unsurprisingly, the dishes were less than stellar. A follower on Twitter, Fred Stoverink, described the results of our taste test best: “cuisinageddon.” Here’s a roundup. http://n.pr/1OAJBfR
  1. Mac ‘n’ Cheese
    Pretty sure this pasta could glow in the dark — it was nuclear accident/construction cone orange. ‘Nuff said. (Pro tip: Do not make the mistake we made of adding more cheese than the recipe calls for.)
  2. Creamy Potato Soup
    Wet cement might be a more accurate description of the quickly-solidifying texture. If only the recipe called for a little more water ... and a little less salt.
  3. Chocolate Pudding
    You know the adage, “Life is short, eat dessert first?” This may be the one instance where that is exactly what you don’t want to do. Like gritty Swiss Miss, but with a strong chemical aftertaste.
  4. Chicken Noodle Soup
    If your loved one is sick, please don’t bring this to them with a glass of orange juice. Unless you're trying to kill them.
  5. This stuff is indestructible.
    One of the manufacturers says it could last 40 years when stored in ideal, basement-like conditions. This packet of soup mix has an expiration date of June, 2035.
  6. Enough is enough.
    We could only take so much. To be fair, our resources in the NPR kitchen are limited — we had no stove to cook the dishes, only an electric tea kettle to boil water. If you try this yourself, try letting everything simmer. That might get rid of the lumps and the taste might improve, too.
  7. Are you ready to try evangelical survivalist food?
    Suit yourself. If the 50-day bucket seems insufficient, you can opt for the Year For Two Tasty Food Offer, a bundle priced at $1,100, or the Peace of Mind Final Countdown Offer with 31,000 servings of food for $4,500. (Photos by Morgan McCloy/NPR)