Did I Really Just Say that?
Thus begins the list of awkward exchanges I have had with women over the past several months. Why oh why?
- •Because of booze and wanting to see her was too obvious (duh)So I'd love to get your number so I can hear your band and talk more about bar tending. "Wow, you sure know how to make it confusing for a girl". **1 minute later** "oh, oh you are texting me now. Awesome".
- •B is for BumbleSo what do you do for work? "Well I'm a teacher, a middle school teacher". Oh so you must really enjoy a night cap on occasion "I go through bottles on the regular, that's what movie days are for. Oh those kids I swear, this one..." **hour time lapse** "I guess I just don't like people" check please.
- •The morning after"Last night was fun! I love laying next to you. These past few weeks have been fun really, but I don't know... I guess I just don't feel sexually attracted to you anymore. Sorry, let's still be friends though?!" ... I don't, i.. Hm.
- •My crazy fan club**homeless lady points and yells at me** "YOU ARE HOT! COME BACK MY WAY!" Thank you, I'm unfortunately running late
- •Plus 1Hey Bill, I have 2 months to find a plus one for my friends wedding! **from the other room** "HAHAH! Not a chance" ... Silence
- •#MomburnI used to have game, you know? I knew what to say, I could be standoffish yet enticing, I knew what I was doing. Then I got in and out of that relationship and now "and now you are a bitch"- my mom.