THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T STILL BE A THING... CAUSE IT'S 2016

This might be inaccurate
  1. Shape ups: they don't work, and arguably make you look worse
  2. Pay gap between genders: because my vagina has nothing to do with the quality of my work (except when I'm turning tricks)
  3. Jack Nicholson being a playboy
  4. Student loans: because we need to empower the youth of America instead of enslave them
  5. Peer pressure: because beer bongs aren't fun for 90% of the population, but somehow that other 10% has gotten us all to do them!
  6. Mass shootings: because if a country that comes from criminal descent can eliminate gun violence, so can we
  7. Pharmaceutical corruption: because no one should have to see this face again