Things I should definitely do less
- •Insist on learning French cuss words purely to have dignified road rage. "Dégage, branleur!"MUST be accompanied by a beret, thinly drawn on sharpie mustache and bumper sticker that reads "french bread babe"
- •Lie to strangers that inquire about my life"Im actually just here for a couple weeks, I live up in Alaska as a professional iceberg mover for the International Ice Patrol"
- •Constantly look up jobs that are offering a rollerblading waitress positionThere are NONE. INSANITY.
- •Get unnecessarily mad about there being no rollerblading waitress positions to be filledI spent most of my childhood learning to rollerblade backwards and I refuse to admit that I can't put it to use.
- •Forget to matchthis MUSTARD colored shirt with that GREEN skirt and some BLACK tights...cool. No, fuck looking in the mirror! You're a hawtie and colors make you pop!