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  1. Catholic. So that I could go to confessional.
    ALSO: A Catholic school student. So that I could wear the Catholic School girl uniform legitimately and not just look/feel slutty.
  2. Bartender. So that I could 1. Tell people at parties and not be lying 2. Make great drinks
  3. Politician/Mega-star celebrity/President. So that I could have a bodyguard and feel that special. Also if I was President I would know all the State secrets and that might be a fun mix of neat and terrifying.
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I have rabbit ears. This allows me a limited number of actual channels and mass quantities of Spanish channels/religious networks/odd programs.
  1. The Love boat
  2. Al Extreme
    Not sure if Al is a word in Spanish or if it's about a man named Al. I've put this on my to do list to figure out.
  3. Peace TV programming
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  1. Dog shit. Right as I open the car door. Dog shit all over a towel sitting at my feet in the driveway.
  2. The current events of my hometown/family. No less than 3 stories must be immediately shared by my mother about current deaths, hospital visits, tragedies, and/or disappointing news about townspeople or individuals who will be coming over for Christmas Eve dinner.
  3. A loud incessant chopping sound from the kitchen and a slew of curse words every time my father makes a cooking error.
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A series on how Christmas is always there to let you down. Part three.
  1. "Let's all just be thankful and not do gifts this year, right guys?"
  2. All you really want is a shopping spree through CVS to get the shit that you actually need in real life. Shampoo, toothpaste, new mascara, light bulbs, batteries, contact solution...the list I have for CVS Santa is endless. *(ctrl x, ctrl v) this also appears on my how to tell you're not a kid anymore: as told by Christmas list.*
  3. You envy the Salvation Army Santa. Ring a bell, people give you money- it's basically a Pavlov experiment's wet dream.
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A series on how Christmas is always there to let you down. Part deux.
  1. It would be weird to sit on a stranger's lap and tell him what you want. Unless you're into that, then carry on.
  2. Putting up decorations is nice and festive-feeling, but with every piece of garland or reindeer statue you're reminded of having to take take them down and redecorate with normal decor in less than a month.
  3. When someone mentions Christmas, you make an audible groan.
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A series on how Christmas is always there to let you down. Part 1.
  1. Your family tells you: In so many words, of course.
    I.e. No grandma, the boy in my profile picture is just a friend (gay). Dad, I don't have a "plus one" to bring to Christmas Eve service. Sure thing unrelated-"uncle" David, I'll be sure to check back in with that ex-boyfriend AND HIS NEW WIFE because you're right, he sure was a nice guy.
  2. Fuck mistletoe.
    Aka No-one-to-kiss-me-ceiling-weeds
  3. You personally identify with the phrase 'suffering alone...'
    Especially when it comes to spending your December weekends at various extended family Christmas gatherings. Silent solo agony.
  4. Christmas Eve versus Christmas Day is a silent mental battle of 'ugh, both nights with my parents, or just me and a(6) bottle(s) of wine...'
    See above and heed the warnings. Choose wine.
  1. I can definitely get ready in under 15 minutes. *hits snooze again*
  2. I don't think I have all that much to do at work today- should be smooth sailing until COB.
  3. These shoes are comfy.
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  1. Holy shit
  2. No wait, does he like every list? Remember what your grandmother always said to you: you're not special.
  3. Am I being stupid right now?
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It's quite a tower. I'll clear it off this weekend, mom. I swear.
  1. Pacific Coast Highways- Roadtrips by Lonely Planet
    Planning a trip through California and possibly up through Oregon and Washington next year
  2. Poems of Tennyson
    It's getting chilly here and I need something to keep me warm (and perplexed).
  3. 25 Days of Advent
    A gift from a family I love dearly. I've never had the opportunity to do a once-a-day advent, so I'm touched by the special gift and excited.
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I'm not a secretary, but I sit at the secretary's desk in my small office. I play nice with Fed-Ex persons and I play man-to-man defense with people trying to 'just pop by' and see my very busy boss. This is the playlist that fits all occasions.
  1. Vance Joy
  2. Hozier
  3. Ed Sheeran
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