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- •Catholic. So that I could go to confessional.ALSO: A Catholic school student. So that I could wear the Catholic School girl uniform legitimately and not just look/feel slutty.
- •Bartender. So that I could 1. Tell people at parties and not be lying 2. Make great drinks
- •Politician/Mega-star celebrity/President. So that I could have a bodyguard and feel that special. Also if I was President I would know all the State secrets and that might be a fun mix of neat and terrifying.
I have rabbit ears. This allows me a limited number of actual channels and mass quantities of Spanish channels/religious networks/odd programs.
- •The Love boat
- •Al ExtremeNot sure if Al is a word in Spanish or if it's about a man named Al. I've put this on my to do list to figure out.
- •Peace TV programming
Going home isn't for winps
- •Dog shit. Right as I open the car door. Dog shit all over a towel sitting at my feet in the driveway.
- •The current events of my hometown/family. No less than 3 stories must be immediately shared by my mother about current deaths, hospital visits, tragedies, and/or disappointing news about townspeople or individuals who will be coming over for Christmas Eve dinner.
- •A loud incessant chopping sound from the kitchen and a slew of curse words every time my father makes a cooking error.
A series on how Christmas is always there to let you down. Part three.
- •"Let's all just be thankful and not do gifts this year, right guys?"
- •All you really want is a shopping spree through CVS to get the shit that you actually need in real life. Shampoo, toothpaste, new mascara, light bulbs, batteries, contact solution...the list I have for CVS Santa is endless. *(ctrl x, ctrl v) this also appears on my how to tell you're not a kid anymore: as told by Christmas list.*
- •You envy the Salvation Army Santa. Ring a bell, people give you money- it's basically a Pavlov experiment's wet dream.
A series on how Christmas is always there to let you down. Part deux.
- •It would be weird to sit on a stranger's lap and tell him what you want. Unless you're into that, then carry on.
- •Putting up decorations is nice and festive-feeling, but with every piece of garland or reindeer statue you're reminded of having to take take them down and redecorate with normal decor in less than a month.
- •When someone mentions Christmas, you make an audible groan.
A series on how Christmas is always there to let you down. Part 1.
- •Your family tells you: In so many words, of course.I.e. No grandma, the boy in my profile picture is just a friend (gay). Dad, I don't have a "plus one" to bring to Christmas Eve service. Sure thing unrelated-"uncle" David, I'll be sure to check back in with that ex-boyfriend AND HIS NEW WIFE because you're right, he sure was a nice guy.
- •Fuck mistletoe.Aka No-one-to-kiss-me-ceiling-weeds
- •You personally identify with the phrase 'suffering alone...'Especially when it comes to spending your December weekends at various extended family Christmas gatherings. Silent solo agony.
- •Christmas Eve versus Christmas Day is a silent mental battle of 'ugh, both nights with my parents, or just me and a(6) bottle(s) of wine...'See above and heed the warnings. Choose wine.
- •I can definitely get ready in under 15 minutes. *hits snooze again*
- •I don't think I have all that much to do at work today- should be smooth sailing until COB.
- •These shoes are comfy.
- •Holy shit
- •No wait, does he like every list? Remember what your grandmother always said to you: you're not special.
- •Am I being stupid right now?
It's quite a tower. I'll clear it off this weekend, mom. I swear.
- •Pacific Coast Highways- Roadtrips by Lonely PlanetPlanning a trip through California and possibly up through Oregon and Washington next year
- •Poems of TennysonIt's getting chilly here and I need something to keep me warm (and perplexed).
- •25 Days of AdventA gift from a family I love dearly. I've never had the opportunity to do a once-a-day advent, so I'm touched by the special gift and excited.
I'm not a secretary, but I sit at the secretary's desk in my small office. I play nice with Fed-Ex persons and I play man-to-man defense with people trying to 'just pop by' and see my very busy boss. This is the playlist that fits all occasions.
- •Vance Joy
- •Ed Sheeran