HOW TO TELL YOU'RE SINGLE: AS TOLD BY CHRISTMAS

A series on how Christmas is always there to let you down. Part 1.
  1. Your family tells you: In so many words, of course.
    I.e. No grandma, the boy in my profile picture is just a friend (gay). Dad, I don't have a "plus one" to bring to Christmas Eve service. Sure thing unrelated-"uncle" David, I'll be sure to check back in with that ex-boyfriend AND HIS NEW WIFE because you're right, he sure was a nice guy.
  2. Fuck mistletoe.
    Aka No-one-to-kiss-me-ceiling-weeds
  3. You personally identify with the phrase 'suffering alone...'
    Especially when it comes to spending your December weekends at various extended family Christmas gatherings. Silent solo agony.
  4. Christmas Eve versus Christmas Day is a silent mental battle of 'ugh, both nights with my parents, or just me and a(6) bottle(s) of wine...'
    See above and heed the warnings. Choose wine.