THINGS I WISH I WAS SO THAT I COULD DO __________
- •Catholic. So that I could go to confessional.ALSO: A Catholic school student. So that I could wear the Catholic School girl uniform legitimately and not just look/feel slutty.
- •Bartender. So that I could 1. Tell people at parties and not be lying 2. Make great drinks
- •Politician/Mega-star celebrity/President. So that I could have a bodyguard and feel that special. Also if I was President I would know all the State secrets and that might be a fun mix of neat and terrifying.
- •Someone incredibly powerful. So that I could use the phrase "do you know who I am?" (I'd even settle for being the child of someone incredibly powerful. Mob boss preferred.)
- •Famous. So that I could go by one name and be totally recognized by it. I.e. Beyoncé, Adele, Madonna, Cher, Elvis, Twiggy, etc.Or* be part of a totally badass duo that, when separated, are just two people, but together are a totally recognizable, unstoppable pair. I.e. Bonnie & Clyde, Ben & Jerry...etc.
- •British. So that I could casually throw around British slang like bloody and bruv and dodgy and not sound bloody silly.
- •A badass fighter. So just in case I ever get into a fight I not only come out the clear winner, but people are also astounded by my skills.
- •Fluent in Vietnamese. So that I could finally know what the ladies at the nail salon talk about while they're working. And so I can confirm that they're gossiping about the other customers and myself.