Feelings I'm Feeling and Thoughts I'm Thinking
Last week I submitted a 30 page rough draft of my honors thesis. Today I'm meeting with my advisor for feedback. I'm outside her office right now and I'm shaking.
- •VomitIn the past, I've had anxiety and stress induced vomit. Although my body tends to surprise me with the stress shits more often than not, I've had anxiety induced vomit enough times to make me fear it. All morning, I haven't been able to rid my thoughts of the texture of vomit making it's way up my throat.
- •ShakesI have the shakes. My arms, legs, and hands are shaking. It's not violent and not noticeable, but fuck me.
- •PoundingMy heart wants to eat itself.
- •Being torn apartUghhhhhh. I have three weeks before my final thesis is due. My rough draft is by no means supposed to be perfect but this is all so new to me. When I write, I strive towards perfection and knowing that this draft isn't anywhere near there and I have to talk about it already is killing me.