Yesterday, in the wake of Orlando

all the things I did after reading the news in the morning.
  1. Cried. I sobbed so hard, so many times.
    I even crawled back into bed to cry on my husband's arm, raging and weeping while he held me.
  2. Pored over social media for hours.
    I read everything that popped into my feeds, no matter how much it hurt.
  3. Retweeted and shared everything relevant.
    I had no words myself, so I shared the words of other community members.
  4. Distracted myself with house work and video games.
    It even worked for a little bit. But then it was back to rage and sorrow.
  5. Held a ritual to the Sacred Triad.
    I lit candles to my queer gods and I prayed for my queer brothers and sisters and non binary siblings, for all of us.
  6. Said the names of the dead.
    I read their names to the Lord of Death and prayed for an easy passage and peace in the afterlife.
  7. Sobbed the whole ritual through.
    I offered up my anguish to the gods that they might find a use for it.
  8. When I found the words, I wrote them down and set them free.
  9. Found strength for the future.
    There is a long road ahead for us queer folks. I'm going to do whatever I can to pave that road.