things keeping me up tonight

a little insight into my mind when im anxious and can't sleep
  1. worrying about meeting a new person tomorrow
  2. worrying because i should be asleep already because i have to get up at 6:15am tomorrow.
  3. worrying about my shoulder and the issues i've been having with it for almost a year now. I almost want to cry when i think about it
  4. I want to sleep listening to music to quiet my thoughts but my headphones are too uncomfortable to allow sleep.
  5. I want to be asleep. I know writing this list, the light of my phone is tricking my brain into not being tired.
  6. but I need to get thoughts out somewhere and i cant turn on the lamp and write in my journal bc it'll wake up my husband.
  7. my squat is really suffering because of my shitty shoulder and it's depressing bc i loved squatting but it's deteriorating.
  8. why is housing so expensive? why did we have to move to colorado at the peak of everybody else moving to colorado?
  9. I miss virginia. I want to move back home even if i suffocate in the humidity in the summer.
  10. I need to sleep.
  11. I want to sleep in the guest bed but i know it worries ryan when i do and it scares me when I hear creaks from that part of the house when im sleeping.
  12. sleep sleep sleep
    I need to sleep.