things we say to our dog

  1. what'd you do today, Artemis?
    I am unemployed. I know what she did today. slept on the heating pad and buried a bone in the yard.
  2. Artemis, fartemis. Artemis, fartemis.
    sing song.
  3. FRAUD DOG.
    sometimes followed by a burst of laughter when i remember what it's a reference to.
  4. LOOK AT HER LITTLE SNAUSAGE TAIL!
  5. did you know you look like a baked potato?
  6. lil baby dawg