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I've had the pleasure of playing many roles, but for a lot of them there was always just this one line or phrase that was just wonky, poorly written or both. I hated saying these lines and here they are
  1. "Wendla Bergman- like a tree nymph fallen from the branches-what are you doing alone up here"- Melchior Gabor, Spring Awakening
    Oof. There are a few from this show. But this was my LEAST favorite line song or text by any character in the whole show. Like what the fuck does that even mean?! He might as well have been calling her an idiot fairy that fell out of a tree.
  2. *"JESUS CHRIST ON A STICK OF COURSE I'M SURE"- Hugh Dorsey, Parade
    Ok this is one I kind of love. Because it is so absurd. What a fucking expression to say at such a menacing part of such a dark show. I was simply ignorant on how to handle it.
  3. "And he pisses like I cry for an unfaithful love!!!"- Soloist in the song "Amsterdam", Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris
    Aaaaah. Again what the fuck does this mean?! You piss a lot because you cry a lot..? And that matters because? Also what is this whole song about? Sad...boats and..sailors? Yes?
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Let's be real. I have some characteristics that make it honestly remarkable that my friends tolerate me. I'm essentially the resident fuckboy of Kennesaw and here's why mother fuckers.
  1. Alcohol
    I'm about as close to an alcoholic as you can get without being one. I obsess over craft beer, I put alcoholic creamer in my morning coffee, I'm equally at home shooting tequilla in a 90s dance bar as I am drinking bourbon alone and crying listening to classical music. I'm also kind of a snob about what alcohol is good. It's a lot y'all
  2. The clothing
    I dress in boat shoes, polos and khaki shorts or jeans for the most part. But this isn't the biggest offense. It's the ironic alcohol based shirts I own. I'm currently wearing a shirt of Jesus Christ at the last supper wearing ray bans shooting a ping pong ball into a solo cup. Like fucking look at the profile pic. That's a pirate hat I spent actual money on at a thrift store. If that doesn't scream fuckboy idk what does.
  3. Dong jokes
    So many. All day. I'm fully aware of how often I make them and they mostly only make me (and sometimes either Dylan or tad because they're good friends) laugh and I have no intention of ever stopping.
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There are a lot of things I don't like in this world, but not many more than Hayden fucking Christiansen. Here are a list of things I enjoy more than this terrible actor.
  1. Eating literal trash
    True, eating trash makes me nauseous. But only for a brief few hours. Hayden ass clown Christiansen's line delivery of "I don't like sand" still makes me wanna puke to this very minute
  2. Having my mother tell me of her disappointments in me
    True this one hurts to the core. But at least what she is saying makes some sense and is true. Where as there is not one bit of truth in the abortion of a performance given by Hayden Dick cheese Christiansen in the Star Wars prequels
  3. My crippling anxiety
    Yes my crippling anxiety does keep me up at night but can often be subsided by a clever mix of bourbon and ginger ale. However in regards to Hayden jack off Christiansen's portrayal of Anakin skywalker, bourbon and ginger ale only brings tears.
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