5 THINGS I ENJOY MORE THAN HAYDEN GODDAMN CHRISTIANSEN

There are a lot of things I don't like in this world, but not many more than Hayden fucking Christiansen. Here are a list of things I enjoy more than this terrible actor.
  1. Eating literal trash
    True, eating trash makes me nauseous. But only for a brief few hours. Hayden ass clown Christiansen's line delivery of "I don't like sand" still makes me wanna puke to this very minute
  2. Having my mother tell me of her disappointments in me
    True this one hurts to the core. But at least what she is saying makes some sense and is true. Where as there is not one bit of truth in the abortion of a performance given by Hayden Dick cheese Christiansen in the Star Wars prequels
  3. My crippling anxiety
    Yes my crippling anxiety does keep me up at night but can often be subsided by a clever mix of bourbon and ginger ale. However in regards to Hayden jack off Christiansen's portrayal of Anakin skywalker, bourbon and ginger ale only brings tears.
  4. Having my kidney stolen
    True this is a major inconvenience in regards to my urinary system in its ability to cleanse my blood, but I can never cleanse my heart from the childhood raping scene work done by Hayden I blow massive dong Christiansen
  5. The cold sore growing on the inside of my left cheek
    This one is close. Because like Hayden cock gobbling Christiansen my cold sore is irritating, swollen, and just a terrible part of my existence. Yet at least one day it will leave me, unlike the memories of watching the favorite villain of my childhood receive a prequel oriented butt fucking by the lazy chose stroker that is Hayden fucking Christiansen.