People & places you didn't know you had to break up with

But sometimes you have to and it's hard
  1. Your apartment manager
    You're moving, dawg. You found a better place. Now you gotta tell your apartment manager that their place isn't good enough for you. YOU are movin' on up to the east side where there's central AC and 2 covered parking spots. Don't cry, apartment manager. I wasn't expecting it to feel this personal and yet here we are.
  2. A person on Instagram who you used to see a lot more.
    Things change. Social media helps you keep up but sometimes even technology can stop the tide of change from tearing you away from someone you used to be much closer to. A friend from middle school? A band you used to love? A cute guy from a comedy show? Cute guy, you used to be the best. I followed you late one night after debating it for 3 weeks and that was TOO MUCH TIME DEBATING, but I finally threw caution to the wind and hit "Follow". I loved the photos of your new niece. But, bye now.
  3. Your coffee shop of choice
    Have you ever seen a barista from your OLD favorite coffee shop at your NEW favorite coffee shop? Weird, right? Which one of you is more of a traitor? It's all too much emotionally.
  4. Your gym
    Look, all gyms/trainers are not created equal and if yours isn't a good fit, change it up. But just know that gyms don't like to quit you. You'll be like "didn't I cancel this 4 times?" And yet, there goes another million dollars on the 1st of the month. Do they not get that we were breaking up?? Did they not catch that as I threw my key card at the front desk and ran to my car faster than any speed I've ever done on a treadmill?
  5. Food that has so much crap in it
    At this point, we have an idea of what's in Lucky Charms and none of it is good. But we still love it, right? Late at night, we're just dreaming of hearts, stars and horseshoes. We want cheap eggs and things that have to be rehydrated before consuming but that stuff is KILLING US. We gotta end it. And then some dumb-dumb will leave old Starbucks pastries in the break room and we're back at ground zero, breaking up all over again.