Omg @ijeoma. Only you would request this.
  1. People at the club who dance/ sweat/ spill drinks all over you
  2. High schoolers who think they're cool but are actually replicas of each other
    Be an individual! Shine brightly! Do you, boo!
  3. Literally everyone at North Carolina outlet stores
    I'm sorry, but it's not the same quality as non "factory" stores. And you're not getting that great a deal. Just stop.
  4. Blatant, but not acknowledged product placement in TV and movies
    You can make product placement funny. It's not that difficult. Just take a chance and break the fourth wall. It will be worth it I promise.
  5. More than one Instagram selfie per week
    Honey. Please. We know you're beautiful. Apparently you don't.
  6. Related: slow walkers who take up the entire sidewalk
    There are people with places to go.
  7. People who walk through parking lots like it's their own back yard
    Have some regard for your surroundings. Please. For the love of God.
  8. Drivers who pay absolutely no attention to their surroundings
    I won't flick you off, but I'll wave the back of my hand at you like an Italian gangster.
  9. Knock off bags
    If you can't afford the real bag, just buy an inexpensive bag that doesn't imitate a pricey name brand.
  10. Negative Nancies
    There is always a silver lining! No need to bring us all down.
  11. See also: haters
    Why do you need to express what you hate about someone or something? Just keep it to yourself.
  12. Any kind of chanting/ audience participation
    Why is this necessary and who thinks it's fun?
  13. Most instances, though
    I'm forever throwing shade and my side eye could kill so basically I should have a live streaming go pro attached to my face.