REASONS MY DACHSHUND IS ME IN DOG FORM

This is Shalom and he's pretty cool.
  1. His side eye could kill.
  2. He's always hungry.
  3. His booty doesn't quit.
  4. He wants love, but only sometimes and on his terms.
  5. He thinks he's a tough dog.
    When someone knocks on the door he barks like he's a guard dog. He then hides between my legs because he's actually afraid. This is who I am.
  6. He only likes to be photographed when he knows he looks good.
  7. He doesn't love cuddling.
  8. He loves coffee.
    On multiple occasions he has enjoyed too much of my bulletproof coffee.
  9. He can be dramatic in rare situations.
  10. His chest and thighs are gigantic.
  11. He knows how to get what he wants.
  12. He needs more sleep than the average dog.
  13. He's incredibly curious.
  14. He doesn't like baths.