ACTUAL CATCALLS AND MY IMAGINED RESPONSES TO THEM

My usual response is to scurry away, but this is what I'd do if I were better at improv. Feel free to add your own.
  1. "I want to LIVE in that ass!"
    "No you don't, rent in that neighborhood is insane."
  2. "YOU'RE HOT. ARE YOU, LIKE, TWELVE?"
    Turn into Chris Hansen and produce a chair, "Please have a seat."
  3. (When I still had an alarming amount of hair) "Girl, you are a hairball!"
    "Yeah, you should see the size of that cat."
  4. "You got a boyfriend? Then why are your titties out like that?"
    I had nothing then and sadly, nothing now either. Open to suggestions for this one. (Also, for the record, my titties were in.)
  5. (Shouted very angrily directly in my face) "YOU'RE PRETTY!"
    Turn into bearded Robin Williams, "It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault."