HOW TO DEAL WITH BAD-FEELINGS-FLASHBACKS

I would like some tips, please!
  1. One time I dated someone who wasn't very nice to me.
    Not anything particularly tragic about our relationship; he was just kind of a jackass.
  2. And I have dated people since then but it hasn't worked out with anyone so far, for many disparate and interesting reasons.
  3. And whenever anything is going less-than-perfect with A Sex Friend, I go right back to Sad Mary who was dating someone very not right for her and kind of mean.
  4. And when I don't yank myself out of the spiral I start acting like a kicked dog.
  5. Because for a very long time, I was convinced that I'm just a bad thing happening to good people.
  6. Which is FUCKED, OBVIOUSLY.
  7. I'm delightful and a very kind person!
    Or, at least I'm trying my best to be.
  8. Anyone else get this thing?
  9. Other than the usual (therapy/fact-checking/mindfulness) is there anything that's helped avoid putting some ghost of relationships past bullshit on an unsuspecting new partner?