1. 1.
    Be that friend who's constantly trying to see if your friends want to double up on errand-running, because you're a mooch without a car, and some errands are much easier with a car.
  2. 2.
    Part of these errands involve going to Ross so that your friend can return clothes, and you can look at their totally bonkers "art" section.
  3. 3.
    Aforementioned car friend finds a comically large champagne glass, possibly meant to be used as a vase, and you both decide you Need It (and that it will be a gift for your friend Rachel).
  4. 4.
    There is conveniently a liquor store right next to this Ross location, so pick up 3 bottles of cheap champagne.
    Omg yes I know that the only stuff that is called champagne is from Actual Champagne The Place so cheap champagne is not a thing but also hop off my dick, there is no room for you there.
  5. 5.
    Fire up the group chat.
  6. 6.
    Decide that Friday will be the best day for celebrating our finding of a large glass.
  7. 7.
    Once Friday rolls around, we all convene and present Rachel with her glass.
  8. 8.
    Rachel is pleased.
  9. 9.
    Everyone is pleased.
  10. 10.
    So pleased.
  11. 11.
    Somehow it is decided that you are not allowed to leave until the whole glass is finished, so when there's not much champagne left and you're antsy, down the last of it in triumph.
  12. 12.
    And now it is Saturday and I am still dead, the end.