I FEEL LIKE A DUMBASS.

  1. I'm on ADHD meds.
  2. They hadn't been working as well for me, so my psychiatrist and I agreed I'd try the next dosage up.
  3. I've tried a bunch of different brain meds and always been careful about drinking with them.
    My usual tactic was to give it a month on something new before I even tried drinking.
  4. I was not careful this time!!
  5. I forgot that going up a dosage would make me less likely to recognize my limits with alcohol.
    I'm on Vyvanse, an extended release upper, which makes me less likely to notice being drunk until I'm way too drunk.
  6. So I went to a lovely picnic party.
  7. And by the end of the day most people were pretty drunk.
  8. But I was shithoused.
  9. Luckily I remembered almost all day, until we were going back home.
  10. My friend drove me, and I had just told her many times how much I love her.
  11. My boyfriend had also been taking care of me and I was equally effusive, apparently.
  12. He helped me into my house but I fell down on the way in.
  13. (When he told me that part, I was worried because, as I told him, "When I get that drunk I just want to... stay. And it's really hard to move me.")
  14. Turns out that I can still predict Drunk Mary's behavior, because when I fell down I just stayed on the outside steps/porch and told him very clearly that I live there now, I sleep outside, the steps are my bedroom and I would not leave.
  15. He did get me in the house though, and I threw up in the toilet and then was very adamant about brushing my teeth before bed.
  16. (Thanks for that, drunk mary).
  17. My boyfriend went back to his own house, then I woke up at 3am in a panic because it's been years since the last time I blacked out from drinking.
  18. I had gathered what probably happened given that I was safe, had all my items, took my earrings off successfully, and there was a bucket on the bed.
    I didn't throw up in the bucket but I figured out why it was there.
  19. So I called my boyfriend at 3am and luckily he picked up.
  20. He told me that while I was drunk I just wanted to make sure everyone knew how much I loved them, and how much I appreciated him taking care of me.
  21. And he came over the next morning with ginger ale and blue gatorade, and made me bacon.
  22. And hung out with me while I lied in bed ALL DAY with a hangover that has taught me a valuable lesson about drinking when you're on a new dosage on your meds.
  23. I'm glad I didn't embarrass myself heavily but I still feel pretty dumb.
  24. And very grateful that I have people who love me even when it's my fault I'm in pain.