1. This is Reginuld.
    Static
    He went by Reggie when he was younger but now feels like it lacks the gravitas he wants to put out into the world.
  2. This is Nedward.
    Static
    He prides himself on his chili recipe, which his wife Deb privately describes as "unnecessarily hostile to the senses."
  3. This is Jannifer.
    Static
    She can never find her fucking keys.
  4. This is Randy.
    Static
    He likes to party.
  5. This is Grenadine.
    Static
    She likes to feed the birds in the park, but only some of them. The rest of the birds are dicks.
  6. This is Helena
    Static
    She only uses a landline because she lost her phone charger, so her uncharged phone has been sitting in the junk drawer for eight months.
  7. These are Frenq and Charlie.
    Static
    They just met.
  8. This is Tunk.
    Static
    He feels like a GODDAMN king in his gold vest.
  9. This is Gartrude.
    Static
    She's not a nun, she just dresses like that to get out of speeding tickets.
  10. This is Otis.
    Static
    He has made love to every single one of your grandparents and would do it again.
  11. This is Derrack.
    Static
    He wants up.
  12. This is Little Lord Fauntleroy.
    Static
    He doesn't think it's weird that he still goes by that at the age of 46.
  13. These are Jazz and Jazz Jr.
    Static
    They just had a contentious game of frisbee but they've agreed not to talk about it anymore.
  14. This is Esthra.
    Static
    She hates you.