MISLEADING QUESTIONS MY OLDER SISTER HAS ASKED ME

She's visiting Oakland from New York and I love her.
  1. "Should I bring a hoodie for after my run?"
    Actual question: "Could you bring your hoodie and hold it while I go on a run?"
  2. "Do you want to go swimming?"
    Actual question: "Do you want to watch me read a book while I tan and you sit in the shade with your laptop, you vampire?"
  3. "Can we do yoga?"
    Actual question: "Can you watch me turn into Spider-Man and like, cling to the ceiling while you tire yourself out holding Warrior 2 pose incorrectly?"
  4. "Where is the coffeeshop?"
    Actual question: "Can you come find me and pay for my coffee?"
  5. "Do you want to go to another bar?"
    Actual question: "You had one beer but I am very drunk off of many drinks, can you pretend to be the buzzkill so I can maintain my cred?"