So, not sex or kissing or holding hands, three things I like a lot but are obvious choices.
  1. Someone to tell me when I have food all over my face.
    It's not like I only share meals with people I'm humping, but I do eat alone more often when I'm single. This one inspired this list because I just waltzed around West Oakland with so much mustard on my face.
  2. Pretending to be into shit and then actually getting into it.
    Not v evolved of me, but I'm an enormous liar at the beginning of a relationship but then I commit and turn into less of a liar. Fake interests that turned into real ones include: whiskey, several of my fav comedians, the personal lives of prominent mathematicians, hiking.
  3. Being goofy while naked.
    Weird dancing and bad jokes are more fun when you're naked.
  4. Having someone to check up on that questionable mole under my butt.
    Checking up on it myself requires quite a bit of flexibility so it's easier to have a buddy make sure I'm not developing skin cancer in that area.
  5. Keeping my room super clean.
    If I have no one to impress, I cover the floor in dirty clothes.
  6. Testing my boundaries.
    I made my last boyfriend watch all the One Direction music videos that had been released so far, and he did it gladly because I am hot.
  7. Not waking myself up as much.
    One of the disclaimers I always have to give anyone who shares a bed with me is that I talk in my sleep A LOT. But the fastest way to get me to shut up is to hang onto me for a lil bit, so when there's someone else in the bed I'm less likely to get vocal enough to wake myself up.
  8. My friends take a break from telling me why I'm single.
    Most of my friends are in relationships and all of them are well-meaning, it just gets old.
  9. No longer having to be on guard in any new social environment.
    Idk if this is universal, but when I am single, which is most of the time, I spend a fair amount of energy being like, "am I gonna meet somebody here who wants to hold hands? Should I really step up my game just in case?" I NEVER DO (meet someone or step up my game) but it's always at the back of my mind!