Requested by Eva K

ON SEEING USHER IN A KIDS GAP

Thank you so much for this request, @evak
  1. I was a junior in college, I think? Or a sophomore. I was definitely in college.
  2. My friend Tess and I were going into SF from Berkeley for a show, but we got there early so decided to wander around the area near the venue.
  3. Which was near a Gap Kids.
    I do much of my shopping in the little boys' section of stores because I love a boxy cut and because I am roughly the size and shape of a preteen boy.
  4. We went into the Gap Kids and tried on a few of the more ridiculous graphic tees.
    My favorite being a blue shirt with robots on it that said "Autobots, ROLL OUT."
  5. After I'd put the Autobots shirt over my regular shirt, my friend Tess elbowed me in the ribs and pointed my gaze across the store.
  6. I saw a very large man and a very small man.
  7. Who turned out to be Usher and his bodyguard???
  8. I did not know how to react???
  9. He was so small and so handsome???
  10. And in a Gap Kids while I was wearing a tee shirt with robots on it???
  11. I tried to remove my Autobots shirt and promptly became stuck in it.
    Because obviously.
  12. And USHER SAW THIS.
  13. AND LAUGHED AT ME.
  14. I MADE USHER LAUGH.
  15. SORT OF.
  16. And then Tess went up to him and respectfully told him she loved his work while I hid behind a row of socks and prayed that death would be swift and merciful.
  17. I never figured out why Usher was in a Gap Kids in downtown San Francisco.
  18. But now I can say that I made Usher laugh.
    AT me, but that's not the point.
  19. And seriously he is the tiniest, most handsome man in the world.
    Usher could fit in my pocket. Usher probably drinks from a thimble. Usher is knee high to a grasshopper. DUDE IS WEE.