REASONS YOU SHOULD LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOUR BABY
My coworker brought her baby in last week and I'm still reeling.
- •Babies love me. All babies. I'm that rando who gets your baby to stop crying when it's having a prolonged screaming party.No idea why this is, but probably because I also have a disproportionately large head and they sense the kinship.
- •And I love all babies!They smell so good and their squishy bodies were made to rest on my hip. Look how happy I am here.
- •I am a confident baby-holder.My little sister is 10 years younger than I am and I spent all of high school and my breaks in college babysitting her friends. I still find myself doing the instinctive "rock back and forth" thing whenever I'm holding anything with any heft.
- •None of my friends have babies!I'm 24 so I don't know how much longer I can say that, but it's bullshit and I need more babies in my life.
- •I don't want kids of my own so I will not try to steal your baby.Probably.