STUFF I THINK IS TRUE BUT IS NOT TRUE

Will add to this as I think of more. Throw your own misconceptions up here!
  1. It doesn't count as whining if I do it in a hilariously overblown fashion.
    Played-up complaining is still complaining! I have to stop!
  2. Texting first/more often is a sign of weakness.
  3. Everyone I admire in the public eye is immortal and infallible.
  4. The sun doesn't count if I'm moving.
    So, walking around during the middle of the day shouldn't cause a sunburn since I'm not, like, lying on a beach.
  5. Because I am usually single, I will be single forever.
  6. I am only allowed to eat meals at meal times or else the world will explode.
    11am lunch is an ABOMINATION IN THE EYES OF THE LORD.
  7. Everyone truly wants what's best for me.
  8. Calories don't count if they are being used to soak up alcohol.
    Suggested by   @originalamericantrt
  9. If someone says something with conviction, confidence, and condescension towards opposing ideas they are probably right.
    Suggested by   @annamonomaniac
  10. I will be fully and completely happy once I make several cosmetic changes to my face and body.
  11. People will judge me/think I'm weak if I ask for help
    Suggested by   @pocketpenguin
  12. When you wash you car it runs better
    Suggested by   @gilbaron
  13. If my house is in order, my life is in order.
    Suggested by   @jeanette
  14. any food consumed in an airport or on an airplane doesn't count. ✈️
    Suggested by   @manda