THINGS THAT FEEL VERY "ON BRAND"

  1. This picture of me in a Dunkin Donuts in New Jersey
  2. When I tweeted "I love crying" @ my boss
    Actually, both my bosses. I am very professional and I love crying.
  3. When I walked a mile to the Safeway in Berkeley to buy a pregnancy test for my friend but had to stop every block to throw up in the street because I was so hungover
    This friend no longer speaks to me for unrelated reasons
  4. From ages 9 to 14, I attended a Shakespeare day camp every summer
  5. My last day of a fancy internship, I shook hands with the CEO and then when I bent down to tie my shoe, my bag hit me in the head, flew open, and rained down empty packs of cigarettes everywhere
  6. I called my best friend to complain about something trivial and when he told me he was in the ER I still complained about it (after making sure he was fine)
  7. This flattering selfie that some bullshit algorithm thinks makes me look 12
  8. My desire to live in a warehouse so I can refer to it as "the marehouse" even though other people would also live there
  9. In high school I used to read fanfic about the Fox television program "House"