TIMES I FELT PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY MY YOGA INSTRUCTOR

I am terrible at yoga and I do it all the time.
  1. When she makes us start our class by calling an intention.
    Not like, aloud or anything. But still! My intention is to have an hour and a half to myself and later to have a sick-ass bod. I don't need to THINK about that as it is at the back of my mind all the time anyway.
  2. When she played The National
    What the fuck
  3. When she played Red House Painters
    What the fuck
  4. When she played Explosions in the Sky
    What the fuck!!!!!!!!!
  5. When she played Lauryn Hill
    What! THE FUUUUUUCK!
  6. When she put her shins on either side of me and squished my body together during child's pose
    YES it felt great but NO it was not the portion of the class that anyone else was in child's pose. It was the portion of the class I decided to be in child's pose, aka most of the class. I felt called out and aggressed.
  7. When she happened to work at a studio next to a rull good pizza place.
    Jk that part is great.
  8. When she said that if you're stronger on your right side than on your left, you might have trouble accepting love in your life.
    @ ME NEXT TIME WHY DON'T YOU