TO HAVE BEEN IN LOVE

  1. Up until semi recently, I worried that I loved too much too quickly.
  2. I found something I wrote on the subject a few years ago:
    "everything is an eternity to a fruit fly and i am terrified that i’m the fruit fly
because i loved someone with the intensity of the rest of my life 
before my life was anywhere near finished
and now i’m living that life
and i’m not allowed to keep loving
because fruit flies are supposed to be dead by now"
  3. Logically, I know that romantic love isn't a zero-sum game.
  4. And especially I know that I'm glad to be loving someone who's right for me now.
  5. And it doesn't make me love my current partner any less, or in any way that makes me feel lacking.
  6. But god, sometimes I wish I could have had everything I ever wanted.
  7. I listened to the wrong album tonight.