WAYS I AM A DAD
I'm a 24 year old woman with the habits of a father of three
- •Calling everyone "buddy" all the time.A habit I picked up from my mom, but still very dad.
- •I keep all my coins in a bag then roll them into those paper sleeves myself because I don't want Coinstar to take a percentage because I refuse to pay for my own money.LOOK UPON MY WORKS, MUHFUGS
- •I'm constantly furious at people walking slowly.I have a purely theoretical inseam. If I can hustle on these tiny legs SO CAN YOU, packs of sauntering bros taking up the whole dang sidewalk.
- •I refuse to ask for directions even when I am lost.
- •I'm always grabbing trash from everyone's car to throw away all at once.
- •I get really disappointed whenever people don't wear sunscreen and get burned.It's like, I TOLD YOU TO PUT ON SUNSCREEN BEFORE WE LEFT. And you didn't! And now you are burned!
- •Just advised my little sister to "use both hands" while holding a platter of sandwiches.She's fourteen years old and has basic motor skills but I just needed to be sure.
- •I procrastinate big deals with useful but not time-sensitive things.I am moving on Thursday so I just rolled all those dang coins.