WAYS I AM A DAD

I'm a 24 year old woman with the habits of a father of three
  1. Calling everyone "buddy" all the time.
    A habit I picked up from my mom, but still very dad.
  2. I keep all my coins in a bag then roll them into those paper sleeves myself because I don't want Coinstar to take a percentage because I refuse to pay for my own money.
    LOOK UPON MY WORKS, MUHFUGS
  3. I'm constantly furious at people walking slowly.
    I have a purely theoretical inseam. If I can hustle on these tiny legs SO CAN YOU, packs of sauntering bros taking up the whole dang sidewalk.
  4. I refuse to ask for directions even when I am lost.
  5. I'm always grabbing trash from everyone's car to throw away all at once.
  6. I get really disappointed whenever people don't wear sunscreen and get burned.
    It's like, I TOLD YOU TO PUT ON SUNSCREEN BEFORE WE LEFT. And you didn't! And now you are burned!
  7. Just advised my little sister to "use both hands" while holding a platter of sandwiches.
    She's fourteen years old and has basic motor skills but I just needed to be sure.
  8. I procrastinate big deals with useful but not time-sensitive things.
    I am moving on Thursday so I just rolled all those dang coins.