I Met My Boyfriend on Tinder
Or: The Exception Proves The Rule
- •We were on Tinder for different reasons.I wanted to feed my ego and was DTF. He wanted to meet people or get back out there or something. I don't know, he is less superficial than I am.
- •He messaged me first.Pretty standard with M/F interactions. We both deleted our Tinder profiles a long time ago, but I am pretty sure our first conversation was about something comic book related? Conversation must have been interesting though, because I gave him my number.
- •I ghosted. 👻I was on Tinder to meet people in real life not have long conversations over text message. After a week of him not suggesting we hang out, I got bored, figured he never really wanted to meet me to begin with, and continued talking to and meeting other dudes. I'm sure I could have asked but I was on Tinder for an ego boost dammit! Why should I be the one asking when there were dozens of other matches who wanted to bone immediately? I ignored his texts and we didn't talk for months.
- •He recognized me in a bar on Halloween a few months later.I loved the bar for its DJ's proclivity for 90's and early to mid 2000's hip hop. He hated how noisy and crowded it was. I was Jimmy Pesto Jr. double fisting IPA's and dancing with a drug dealer dressed like a Viking. He was one of The Monarch's henchmen from Venture Brothers. He circled a couple times just to make sure it was me... Like a vulture? But a cute one.
- •He tapped me on the shoulder, reminded me of his existence, and suggested we hang out.He was cute and interesting, so I said Yes. Also, the drug dealer buying me drinks asked if I had ever been arrested and said "I like my girls with a clean record." I stand by my choice. Also, this is the caliber of person I was used to hanging out with prior to my partner.
- •My boyfriend is the best and the most important person I have ever met, let alone online (tied for first place with my best friend @goobs from whom all good things come who I met in a Livejournal community that hate-read Twilight together).To be fair, I wasn't looking for overall quality on Tinder as much as I was looking for attractiveness and convenience. So I got what I was looking for, which was crap. My boyfriend and I met serendipitously and started dating after I was already disillusioned with Tinder and stopped using it. We were both in a place where we felt ready for a real life connection with someone. Timing is always pretty important.
- •Online dating (including Tinder) is just another way of meeting new people outside of your circle of friends... A LOT of new people.You have free unlimited access to knowledge and people with the Internet. But free unlimited access means it is harder to filter the real and important stuff from the crap. When I was Tindering, I was spending a lot of time with the human equivalents of clickbait articles and Wikipedia entries for failed TV shows. They scratched an itch but overall they were fucking useless to my life. I was not doing a great job filtering out quality connections for myself because I didn't care at that point.
- •It's possible to find someone you can really connect with online, but it takes time and energy and frankly too much time spent on your phone. Trying is always hard.Actively looking for ~romance takes work, no matter where you do it. I didn't feel like making the effort in person, so checking out cuties from the comfort of my couch in my pajamas was the right move for me.
- •Normal people like you exist on online dating sites, but so do gross people, people who don't share your intellect, people with different political views, people who like showing their chest and genitals to strangers. It's like the real world except everyone is clearly there for the same-ish purpose.I was so incredibly lucky to find someone as great as my boyfriend. We really understand each other and our relationship is a true partnership. We would probably never have run into each other under real life circumstances.
- •I don't think meeting someone online is groundbreaking or special. It's just an increasingly common way to meet people that happens to have a bad rep.People talk shit about LOTS of ways to meet people. "Don't date coworkers." "Don't cross that line with your friends." "Don't date someone you met at a bar." "Don't date anyone your parents introduce you to." "No blind dates." Well shit, where are you supposed to meet people then? There are no real rules beyond actual laws so fuck the haters. If you wanna meet someone on OkCupid or Tinder or Match or wherever, just try it!
- •Not everyone gets a meet cute, but that's okay! It's the actual "meet" that matters most. You'll get the cute later.Tinder is the reason I am wrapping up a 17 day West Coast road trip with my favorite person. I would have never met him without it.
- •Online dating is daunting, but doable. Good stuff can happen! Awesome people like you are on it!Have fun, be safe, do not send unsolicited naked pictures. ✌🏽️