Names I Gave Animals I Saw at the Zoo

  1. Enid
    A narc.
  2. Rihanna and Madonna
    Spend their whole lives stunting on the rest of the zoo. There are no other animals here! It's Rih and Mad's world and everyone else is just living in it.
  3. Moses
    So cuddly!
  4. Jake and Missy
    They've been a THING for a really long time. Their parents want to know when they're going to make it official already because Missy's mom already set a date for them at Martha's Vineyard.
  5. Cornelius
    He's been through some shit.
  6. Shelly, Reneè, Victoria
    Adult giraffes, sorority sisters.
  7. Little Beckett, Jr.
    Shelly's son. Can't wait to turn 18 and get the hell out of his mom's house.
  8. Frances
    SO sweet. Has a crush on Carson in the same enclosure and has been working up the nerve to talk to him at the watering hole later today...but probably tomorrow.
  9. Huey, Dewey, Louie, Mama McDuck
    I cheated.
  10. Big_Trunk_69
    This dude is a fuckboy who only texts you "hey how u doin" at 1 am and sends you unsolicited pictures of his dick.