Good one, @joakes! This is all aside from the obvious not sexist/racist/homophobic/generally oppressive and terrible, etc.
  1. Good communication
    Talking out feelings and saying exactly what you mean can be sooooo uncomfortable, but being open and honest are key for healthy relationships.
  2. Not afraid to be silly
    I'm the world's biggest goofball, so I need someone who can get on board with that.
  3. Super gross and affectionate like me
    Every love language is my love language. When I'm in love, I'm firing on all cylinders. People hate me for it but whatever. Surf's up, haters! I connect best with people who are the same way.
  4. Willingness to learn, grow, be flexible
    If we are going to experience a full beautiful life together, we need to not be set in our ways.
  5. Passion
    Feel joy! Care about things! Please!
  6. Kind to children and animals
    It's cool to not want either right now or ever, but treating either like shit is a HUGE red flag.
  7. Ability to apologize
    "I'm sorry you feel that way" is not an apology. I am bad at this in other ways, and am trying really hard to be better about it.
  8. Does not play Devil's Advocate
    Arguing for the sake of arguing is pointless. I care about a lot of things and when people do this, I feel like my genuine thoughts and feelings are being devalued.
  9. Good at cuddling
    I am the President of Cuddletopia.
  10. Self sufficient
    Codependency is not something I am prepared to deal with right now...or ever. We should have separate interests and friends and activities apart from each other.
  11. ~Into monogamy
    Bisexuality doesn't mean I want to have sex with multiple people.