Skills Acquired From My Former Jobs

  1. Weirdly muscular forearms
    Thanks, Coldstone! BOTH forearms are freakishly strong instead of just my dominant arm like the suckers who worked at Baskin Robbins.
  2. Can make a themed costume out of anything in my closet
    Every Wednesday was a different wacky costume day at summer camp. Without time or money, I had to get resourceful.
  3. Can appear infinitely patient in front of customers/guests, no matter my actual level of stress.
    I was a wedding planner for 2 years.
  4. Odd niche knowledge of Japanese gardening and traditional architecture
    I was a wedding planner at a Japanese garden.
  5. Can be ~cool around famous people
    Working at concerts during college meant I got to meet/talk to all the bands that came through. Successfully engaging in small talk with people you are obsessed with is a reminder that everyone is human after all.
  6. Can appear productive despite not accomplishing a single thing all day
    At my very first desk job where I had minimal responsibilities and was constantly dicking around online, I always had a spreadsheet window open with vaguely important numbers covering the half of my computer screen that my boss would walk by on his way to the toilet. Use this skill significantly less now that I actually have things to do.
  7. Can identify most yoga poses/proper alignment/English and Sanskrit translations despite never going through yoga teacher training
    I can do mayyyyybe half of these poses and yet I know all their names and am a snob about alignment because pictures of muscular bendy people are all I look at for ~8 hours a day.