Okay, jerkalopes. Listen up. This could Change your life! What happens next may SHOCK you
  1. Make stove hot. Like SUPER hot
  2. Add Popsicles
  3. Add red onion. (I prefer thick slices. Feel free to chop or finely dice. Use your own preferences)
  4. IMPORTANT! Peppermint Stars of David. I don't usually measure these. About a handful
  5. Add mustard and salt to taste. I prefer Kosher salt, regular table salt is fine
  6. Vanilla extract
  7. Bring to a rolling boil
  8. Cover, remove from heat and let sit
  9. Congratulations! Now you know how to make a perfect Grandmother Smith Apple. You're welcome!